I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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