Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
love makes seman taste better
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
