I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
