It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
