4 words: hood of his car
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
