Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize