shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
