scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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