And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
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List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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