I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize