He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
