and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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