sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
