his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
