You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
