The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
