You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
