Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
