we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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