she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
