Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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