So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
