Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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