it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize