I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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