Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
