so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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