they said they heard you say put it in my butt
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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