i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
