she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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