i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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