woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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