So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize