yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
