so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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