Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize