wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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