One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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