Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
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first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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