dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize