We're like a lot better than the average bears
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
