let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
