dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
At least life still wants to fuck me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
