you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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