all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
