my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
