I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
