ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize