Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
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There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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