if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you win again, gameday.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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