wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
