i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
