Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
