can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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