you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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