i just had sex bonerless
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
