I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
