i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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