is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
