Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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