Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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